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Saturday, February 21, 2009

Role of Communication in relationship between husband and wife

Communication is very important in any relationship. In relation between husband and wife, role of communication play importation part to maintain the relationship. According to Alberts, 1988, the important of communication as a factor involved in marital success has been noted for many years. Communication in marriage relationship is for understanding, loves, help, and entertainment. To understand each other, the husband and wife need to communicate so that they can feel and share the happiness between them. Love is the most important is relationship, husband and wife communicate to establish the relationship continuously. Most of our respondent agreed that communication is the best way to maintain relationship, even thought the couple is separated or in long distance relationship, communication is top priority to maintain the relationship either through the phone, email or letter at least once per day. According to couple, Azizul Rahman (28) and Fazlina (28), husband and wife have to understand each other and always ‘give and take’ in relationship in term of conversations and help each other in any action. Husband or wife has to be creative in communication so that the relationship always fresh and prolonged. For example, this couple is a long distant relationship, the husband work in Kuala Lumpur and his wife work in Johor. They maintain the relation through communication. They communicate each other at least two or five time per day through telephone or SMS and sometime by email. Sometime the wife will send a romantic SMS to the husband and make a cute card fulfill with appreciation word to her spouse. Then, one or two time they will meet each other.

Most of our respondent agreed that, spend time with family can make the communication more batter. Communication will make people become closer and comfortable with each other. Communication in family not only through talking with each other, but there is communication through many activities, such as camping, sports, eat together and household chores. Communication not only by words (verbal) we speak, but also by the spirit, attitude, and intention underlying the literal content of the massage. We also communicate nonverbally through facial expressions. For example, a wife may respond to the husband’s invitation to join him on a business trip by clearly indicating through facial expression alone whether she wants to go or not.( Nick Stinnett, James Walters, Nancy Stinnett, pg,135) So, the husband may understands the wife through the facial expression. It is very important for husband and wife to communicate so that the relationships become closer and intimate. Positive relationship will be occurred if there is positive communication practice by husband and wife. Positive communications for example, give each other time to express what they have to say without interrupting. Do not finger point and blame. Don’t run away or act like the victim. Be thoughtful and accepting of your spouse’s faults.

Communication in husband and wife also can lead them to successful marital. Husband and wife respect each other and communicate in proper way. Screaming, rude word and disrespect each other will course a problem in the relationship. Therefore, proper communication in relationship is important to lead a success family as what they desired. Good communication sometime is based upon their religion belief and something that they practice inherits from old people or previous generation. Each cultural group also has its own set of rules and emphases for everyday conversation, use of words and expression, use of praise and criticism and ways of communicating. Many people agreed that, success in marital can effect to the social life either in workplace, in society, in the household and also health. Happiness is a major pursuit in all aspects of our lives: jobs, education, recreation, and personal relationships. It is not surprising, then, that many people link happiness marriage. A Harris poll revealed that 96% of Americans consider a good family life to be one of the most important parts of life ( Harris, 1981) .

Happiness family is one of important thing in human being because it can release they stress from outside and to pleasure with family. Therefore, every marriage couple wished to have happy family in their marriage life. Some people have the idea that marriage is a state of perpetual happiness. Indeed, many people marry thinking that a spouse will bring happiness. (Neubeck, 1982). To maintain this and create this happiness, communication plays an important role. According to our respondent a marriage couple, Neilson (36) and Mazilla J. (30), they state that, communication is very important in marriage relationship, husband and wife have to communicate with each other as often as their can because the more we communicate the more we can understand our spouse. Through communication with each other we may know what our partner need. Without communication impossible two person can get along together. For example, our respondent, Richard S.(38) and his wife Helen S. (34), even thought this couple are intermarriage where is the husband is Kayan from Sarawak and his wife is Murut from Sabah they can be together with one language to communicate with each other. They communicate with the language which both can understand. So, they speak in Bahasa Melayu at home with their children.

Good communication in marital also can avoid family problem such as divorce, quarrel and misunderstanding. When we ask respondent about how to manage the problem occurred in the relationship of marriage, most of them said that, every problem that occurred in family must be discussed with patiently and tolerantly. Roberto (27) and Emmy Jain (22), said that, using proper word when speak to the spouse and must be discuss the problem in peace situation, face to face when settling the altercation and husband or wife have to understand the situation then both should be free to talk and be honest in conversations. Understand each and not to pushing the partner if there is conflict in marital relationship. The culture of communication between husband and wife has been known, therefore, marriage couples always try to adapt the culture in marital life just like how society can accept. For example, Islam forbids the husband not to yell in front of his wife then the wives also have to obey her husband. Islam encourage husband and wife to respect each other for avoid family problem. Other culture also such as in villages, they tried not to speak crude to the partner because they neighbor will think negative and this can embarrass them.

Enhanced understanding of each other leads to positive awareness and responsiveness to each other. In this way good communication contributes to marital happiness ( Indvik & Fitzpatrick, 1982) Effectiveness communication in marriage life particularly depend on how depth our relationship with the spouses. We need to understands the partner deeply and their feeling so that communication can be effective to ensure the peaceful and happiness in marital life. How ever, a quite number of people chose to not have any marital relationship because of they own negative perception toward marriage life.

5 comments:

Teo FL said...

wow!!!!!!!!!! tok dah macam assignment communication dah tok

Carey Anthony Marup said...

hahaha..tau tak pe..based on my own research!!hihi

BJA said...

Very good article, agree with you about communication between husband & wife, not to forget a good communication with kids too. the most important is that, you must put God first.

bye

Carey Anthony Marup said...

U r right..thanks for the comment...

Siam said...

Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving a comment. It was very kind of you.